For years I compared myself with others, I felt incomplete, different. I was not like the ''other girls''... I was one of the tallest, and had lots of complex about my body. One day I asked my mum, almost in tears, ''why am I not like the other girls''? A moment of silence... she was perplexed.
This massive feeling of "being different" and not ''fitting in the crowd'' discomfited a major part of my life. At home, my brother was always picking on me, which reinforced the idea of "not being enough", and intensified my insecurities. My parents were often away because of their work responsibilities and I didn't grow up with a lot of attention. I was independent at a young age and I learned how to be my "own judge", but also, without being aware of, I started to develop a pattern of self-criticism, due to the way I perceived myself.
It seemed "natural" to me to compare myself with others. I was trying to find some reassurance, some comfort outside of me. But this constant need for searching for the things I was lacking was making me feel even more insecure, and disconnected from who I was. It took me years to realize that being different is not an handicap, nor an inferiority. Instead, it is what truly defines us as human beings.
We were all born with very unique traits and talents. Our "mission" in this lifetime is to understand the core of who we are, identify our strengths and weaknesses, and be willing to grow and to transform.
When we focus on growth, rather than self-criticism, there is opportunity for growth and expansion. When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we start regaining our power. We make room for learning more about ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, and we can focus on developing new attributes.
When we become more conscious and are the observer of our mind, rather than the judge, we realize that our thought have tremendous power and influence our life consequently. Thus, if we bombard ourselves with messages such as "I'm not good enough", "she's more talented than I am", she's more successful and has all the things I will never have", etc... These self-sabotage thoughts are endless, and it's a vicious cycle that can lead to feeling lonely, and depressed.
Too often, we focus on the things we don't like, we spend our time talking or thinking about the things we don't want in life. Our subconscious mind (the ''programmer'', based on unconscious beliefs, the part of your brain that makes 95% of the decisions in your life without you being aware) has been wired from a young age from informations transmitted by your parents, teachers, and peers. Someone who had little attention or emotional support from their parents usually had to "work harder" to build a sense of confidence, compared to someone who had lots of love and attention from their parents.
But one shouldn't blame it on their parents or peers for not being confident or for having the life they have because we simply are in control of our thoughts and we can change the patterns at any time, once we are giving more attention to them and how they impact our life.
When you finally realize you are sabotaging yourself with irrational thoughts and beliefs, you can slowly regain your power. When you look from different perspectives and stop criticizing yourself, you are more likely to make big progresses in your life. When you realize that your thoughts are preventing you from living a free, fulfilled life, you are ready to transform and you start attracting more good things to your life.
When we start to replace the self-criticism by positive affirmations, we start to feel a sense of freedom that was was never felt before.
When you perceive your differences as a gift, instead of obstacles, it gives you more opportunities to focus on the things you want to grow, and get rid of those that aren't serving you. You are the only driver and you might have passengers but at the end of the day, you have your hands on the wheel and you are the one who takes the turn.
Comparing yourself with others will not only disempowers you, but confuse and completely disempower you. When you feed the idea that you are not enough, you will find things that confirm these thoughts. If you look around, you will always find someone prettier, smarter and who seems to ''have it all''.
The journey is continuous, in order to grow, you have to continually face your insecurities, your fears and repetitively tell yourself ''I am enough''. If you want to keep growing as a human being, concentrate and develop the elements that you think are worth your time. There is always something new to discover about yourself. Our body on a cellular level is constantly evolving, so is our mind, since mind and body is just one entity.
It's never too late to realize YOU have something very special to bring to the world.
When you start the exploration within and cease comparing with others, magic happens.
When you start believing you are enough and YOU matter, your inner world starts changing.
We all have something to give to others, to our communities, but to do so we must first be at peace with ourselves.
Your uniqueness is a gift. Once you recognize this, and embrace it, you become more attuned to your body and start to feel comfortable in your own skin.
When you are fully engaged in the present moment, and start taking small actions that are fulfilling you, you start progressively to build a life that can embody your passions, your talents, and your differences as a unique gift.
Then you can find more flow, more freedom, and more happiness in your life.
Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That's who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn't believe it.