For years I compared myself with others, I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt incomplete, different. I was not like the ''other girls'', I was one of the tallest, and had no signs of puberty until I was 16. One day I asked my mum, almost in tears, ''why am I not like the other girls''? A moment of silence... she was perplexed, didn't know what to say.
This massive feeling of being different and not ''fitting in the crowd'' discomfited a major part of my life. At home, my brother was always picking on me, which reinforced this idea of not being enough and intensified my insecurities. My parents were often away because of their work responsibilities and I didn't grow up with a lot of attention, not because they didn't love me but simply because they lacked free time.
I was aware of my differences and was not accepting myself the way I was. I was constantly comparing myself with the outer world, in which I felt disconnected from. It took me years to realize that being different is not an handicap, nor an inferiority. Instead, it is what truly defines us as human beings. We were all born with very unique traits and talents. It is our role to identify them and make them stand out. For our own good, but also for the community, our friends and family, and for our personal growth. It is crucial as humans to feel that we are ''special'' and that we have something to give and share with others.
I was not aware *I* had something to bring to the collective. My subconscious mind (the ''programmer'', the part of your brain that makes 95% of the decisions in your life without you being aware) which is based on unconscious beliefs had been wired on criticism and feelings of unworthiness. I realized I was sabotaging myself so I had to start shifting the way I was perceiving myself, or else I would never be able to live a free, fulfilled life.
So I started the journey within. And progressively, something shifted. I discovered the most precious things about me, what was making me so unique, my strengths but also my weaknesses. I started to see the beauty from within. Slowly, I began to perceive my differences as a gift, instead of obstacles. I realized that comparing myself with others was not only disempowering me, but it was making me feel more confused, and powerless. In fact, it was feeding the idea that I was not enough. If you look around, you will always find someone prettier, smarter and who seems to ''have it all''. So I had to stop, focus on myself and readjust my own perceptions and focus on the positive.
The journey is not over, I have to continually face my insecurities, my fears and repetitively tell myself ''I am enough''. I want to keep growing as a human being, concentrate and develop all the elements that stayed in the shadows for so long.
I feel it is never too late to realize *you* have something very special to bring to the world.
When you start focusing on yourself and cease comparing with others, some magic happens.
When you start believing you are enough and you as a person matter, you become aware of your own beauty.
Your uniqueness is a gift and once you embrace it, you become more attuned to your body and start to feel comfortable in our own skin.
When you start the journey from within, you can find your passions, your talents, and develop. Then you will find more flow, more freedom, and more happiness in your life.
Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That's who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn't believe it.